Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Today found me so tired that I didn't want to talk to anyone.  That's pretty crazy for me.  On the up side however, my son is looking better!  He still has a fever but instead of needing to go between Tylenol & Motrin every 4 hours has hasn't needed anything!  He's still tired, but not listless and napping all day.  Pretty much, I think he was somehow less tired than me today.  He also has a good color to him; his cheeks no longer appear bright red!  I had forgotten what a good throat infection can do.  I felt just like that once, when I was 18.  Someone gave me strep, and I was soooooo ill.  It wasn't the first time I had strep;  I had actually had it many times before, but this time I thought I was dying.  I had a high fever, with stomach issues and congestion.  I also thought that it was a flu.  I was so sick that I didn't want to go to the doctor's.  Thinking back to that I feel even worse for him, but at least his antibiotics are working their magic.  Thank God!  I was actually getting worried.  Generally I know what to do in these situations, and I know what's happening.  That fever freaked me out.

I needed some good news.  I can be positive through anything, but I still get drained.  I know that we will get through all of this by the grace of God, but knowing that doesn't always make it easier.  I learned a long time ago to let go, & that really helps me a lot, but I still can get overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation.  I think that's where I'm at now.  I cannot believe how much has gone wrong in the last 3 weeks.  It's a lot to digest.  We just keep getting hit by one thing after another after another, with seemingly no break, no light through the clouds.  I know that the sun is there, waiting to shine down on me and help to bring my joy back.  The past few days when I have been feeling down, Josh Wilson's "Before the Morning" has come on the radio.  This has been the song in my head and carrying me through all of the madness right now.  I know it's only the world- it doesn't really matter too much.  It's the ever-after part that I try to stay focused on, though I certainly don't want to see that any time soon!  This too shall pass.

I just got like the best hug ever from my little girl.  That heals the heart way more than just about anything else can.  I thank God daily for my family.  I truly believe that the best gift that he's given us is love.  He must love me a lot because I have lots and lots of love!

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