May I point you elsewhere for a moment?

We arthritis people stick together.  I have made some lifetime relationships because of arthritis.  It started with blogs.  I found a few different blogs around the time that I started blogging.  I really didn't know anyone else yet.  What I didn't know then was that Florida had its own little JA group going on.  Thanks to one of my favorite AF employees, I was introduced to this group.  It was really cool that people that lived near to each other could easily find each other on one page!  We started meeting up.  Sometimes by accident, sometimes at planned events.  Actually, it was one of our Florida mom's that started me blogging.

 The week that Emily was diagnosed with Dermatomyositis, I logged onto a family computer at the hospital (I wasn't expecting our first visit to the new doctors to last six days) and I found a group invite on my Facebook page.  This led to a group of JA mom's all together on one real-time forum.  This was like an epiphany.  It was just a little bit before this that I met Parker's mom.  

They go through so much.  I "met" them online first, just after Parker was diagnosed.  A few years later and we've shared tears, had our kids (and some of our other favorite families kids) play together.  The kids support each other in ways that their well friends couldn't possibly.  Parker's mom has become an even larger advocate than me.  Their walk team at this past Arthritis Foundation walk raised over $10,000, and Parker had his favorite pro baseball player come hang out with him!  

Parker's mom asked a group of us not long ago what one thing we wanted people to know about Juvenile Arthritis.  Remember, there are over 100+ forms, and when I say JA, I am also referring to Juvenile Dermatomyositis, Lupus, Scleroderma, Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, Psoriatic Arthritis, Still's Disease, etc.  With input from so many different groups, this is the list that she came up with.  This explains why I don't make plans, why we always try to see the good in everything, some of the things that we all think about, worry about, and want other people to know.  We've all said these things, but when you post them all together in one place like that.... it's powerful.  This is one of the best pieces I have personally seen.  Please check it out.

Nostalgia

I remembered tonight back to when Emily was first diagnosed.  It only took about a year to get her into a very brief but lovely sort of remission.  I spent all of my free time reading books on Juvenile Arthritis, and when that wasn't enough I found forums.  I remember people talking about connective tissue diseases, but I had no idea what those were, and I pretty much just assumed that they would never apply to us.  It was nice to be so naive.  I lurked on those Yahoo forums for quite some time, marveling at how some people had so much to deal with.  Around the same time I was told that siblings "couldn't" develop JA.

I feel blessed to be so much smarter now than I was back then, but it comes with a high cost.  We all faced head on the fact that Emily couldn't handle regular school anymore.  It was too much of a struggle for her.  She missed so much last year that it wasn't fair to make her go this year.  I wasn't sure that I could handle homeschooling but so far we all enjoy it.  One small victory is that October is almost over and it has passed without spending most of the month inpatient!  The last two October's were spent more in the hospital than home.  Every day we wonder when the next stay will be.  Emily is in a weird state right now.  She has been running around more, meaning that her muscles and joints are doing better, but the throat issues have been more pronounced.  She has been having more trouble swallowing pills, choking almost to the point of vomiting a few times.  And she told us the other night that she feels as though she will not live a long life.  How many ten-year old's have a grasp on mortality?

In the meantime, Zach is definitely breaking through Enbrel.  He has a spot popping up on his chest and another under his waistband.  He's had a small one on his arm, and some scales on his head.  He doesn't seem to be in pain, which is a relief.  For the most part, he's doing pretty well.  But that worries me a bit.  Chances are, it's just a flare because his meds are working anymore.

These are our days.  We cherish the good ones, we worry daily for what is around the corner, and we hope for the best.  There is always something that makes you worry, but we just try to get through day by day.    

Has it really been THAT long???

While I've had much to say, I haven't had time to say it!  We are just so busy.

We went for Em's meds and doctor appointment 2-3 weeks ago.  Even though Zach was seen the month before, I asked the doctor about him  first.  I thought it was fair game since we spent 98% of Zach's appointment talking about Emily.  It appears as though he is breaking through Enbrel.  (Sigh)  I don't want to move to Humira.  I just don't.  I'm pretty sure that is what is going to happen, and if it does they will have to show me how to add Lidocaine to it.  We are currently doing Enbrel 3 times per week and he is still getting little patches, mostly on his scalp.  If that's as bad as it gets.... I can't complain.  Much.

Emily...  I don't know.  The appointment started off badly because, while I was sure that the CellCept was the cause of her headaches, he had never had a patient experience headaches.  Now, this is a drug that is primarily used for people with organ transplants, and that is what all of the data is on.  I researched a LOT.  What I found is that people with kidney issues did not generally have headaches but over half of the heart and liver transplant group did.  He still wasn't convinced.  He was pretty sure that she was possibly suffering from mild brain vasculitis.  He told me to give it two weeks and if the headache increased or did not resolve we would need to have an MRI/MRA run.  We also decided to try 3 CellCept in the morning and one at night instead of 2/2.  That has helped significantly.  We were supposed to change after a week, but we waited two.  So far, so good.  She did have an IViG reaction this time.  Her daily headache shot up to an 8, so it looks like we'll have to go back to overnight stays.  I really did not want to do that.

I'm not sure about the rest of her.  She is eating more than she was before starting CellCept, but she is also choking on her pills more.  Her appetite is better, so for that we are grateful.    I also suspect that Orencia will be going away in a month or two.  I'm hoping I am wrong on that.  It's such an easy medicine.  However, we have noticed more of her little disease rashes popping up, and I don't think that her joints are as controlled as they should be.  She is having more thumb and ankle issues, with the wrist and neck chiming in.  She still complains much less than you would think (except in therapy!).  That leaves me wondering sometimes.  She had a good couple of weeks there where she was constantly in the bath.  Usually that tells me that she is hurting.  Right now she has a sinus infection.  She went to bed just fine but woke up noticeably ill.  Knowing how she is and having family commitments today and tomorrow, we ran to the pediatrician today.  At least we are on it before it becomes huge.  We go back for her next appointment on October 29th.  We shall see what her rheumatologist says then.

Their great-grandmother passed away the other day- Kevin's grandmother.  She was 94.  Her wake is this evening and her funeral is tomorrow.  It certainly wasn't a surprise but it is still sad.  I worry more for her daughter.  She has been Grandma's primary caregiver since 1997 or 1998.  It's been a very long time.  And now she is free!  Rest in peace, Grandma Rosemary.   Oh, and my dad is having surgery on the 27th.  Plus they think he has asbestos "above his lungs".  That is likely mesothelioma, which is NOT good.  I was hoping they would investigate that before doing his artery surgery but no such luck.  Prayers for our family- close and extended- would be greatly appreciated, as always.  <3 p="p">
I promise a happier post on the homeschooling when I can sneak in another few minutes.  We ARE the house of science!  (I love it!!!!!) 

Surviving...

So, here it is... midnight.  This is pretty much the first free-time I've had in a while.  Everything has just been a whirlwind!  I've barely had time for my school work, though I'm learning how to get the kids coordinated enough to be working independently on something simultaneously while I do some of my work.  I have to schedule a couple of their classes on Saturdays after I get home from work.  My weekends are yucky.

We head up to the hospital on Wednesday of next week.  I'm not really sure what to expect.  Right now, depending on the day, sometimes Emily will say the CellCept is working, and other days she says it's not.  I'm inclined to believe that it is because she is eating again, but it's hard for me to say.  She also hasn't been nauseous as often as she was for a while, so I believe that it's helping.  I would love for them to decrease her Prednisone, but I won't hold my breath.  She had labwork done last week.  I'm hoping that will be clear.  The biggest issue with her now is the insomnia.  CellCept says right on their insert that it may cause insomnia, and she is taking it twice daily, so I'm assuming that it the cause.  Well, she's had sleep issues for years, but this is different.  Before she was tired all of the time and she had little to no energy but she wasn't up at all hours of the night.  We were using 3mgs of Melatonin every night, but that doesn't seem to be helping.  She's still up some nights between 2-4 A.M.  Other nights she sleeps very well, but usually even then she doesn't have enough energy.  Today was a good day.  She felt pretty good.  On Tuesday I had to send her back to bed.  She was so loopy- like she had been on something.  She slept most of the day.

Zachary had a plethora of labwork done on Wednesday.  They are re-running the Scleroderma labs, MCTD, Lupus, and even Dermatomyositis labs on him.  I was pretty surprised about that.  They also ordered a regular urine sample, and a 24-hour sample. I can imagine what they're screening for, but I have chosen simply not to think about it until we head up there.  He has bad veins, too.  They tried to draw on him last week but they couldn't find a vein.  This time they found one, but they could only find one in his hand.  He was not thrilled about that! 

On Tuesday we had a consultation with Behavioral Therapy.  When I first heard about the program I thought, well, that's not for us!  But the more I heard about it, the more I realized that it could really be helpful for strategies to help her anxiety.  Right now, even with the port, good luck coming at her with a needle.  It's not good- she flails, and tries to get people to back off, but it needs to get done.  She knows that it won't hurt, but she still has this huge fear that just won't go away.  She is really going to get badly hurt one day, or hurt someone else.  It's just not good.  This should also help with getting Zach more focused, and help Em with her math anxiety, which she is actually doing surprisingly well with at the moment!  Oh, praise the Lord that's working out!  That was one of my biggest fears- that she would be so anxious that I couldn't teach her.   

The homeschooling has actually been fun!  Our biggest problems right now are partially because we didn't get their books until late (Emily's took two weeks after school starting!), and then they both missed a few days.  Em has had a few days where she was just so tired that there was no getting through, Shands days wipe her out, and we had a virus or something go through the house a while back. We have been trying to play catch-up there.  And therapy doesn't help our school work.  I'm really trying to tough it out, hoping that it will get better, but right now we just don't have enough hours in a day.  We have Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy three days per week.  Tuesday's we have an hour each session, and the other 2 days are half hour sessions.  (The Behavioral Therapist said that she can meet us while Em is in her other sessions so we don't spend even more time there!)  It's hard to get anyone started on school work until ten or so.  Emily is often not awake until after ten, and I'm sorry, but I'm not waking her until she's on a real sleep schedule unless I have to.  We are just getting stuff done when it's suddenly time to go.  By the time we get home it's often evening, and we're working until 8 P.M.  We're in a catch 22 with this.  I see how much stronger she is getting with the additional therapy.  I think that once we are in the swing of things a bit more it won't be an issue.  It's just now that it's been very hard for her.  Maybe if we change her CellCept dose a bit, or something...

Overall, I am really enjoying homeschooling.  We definitely have some things to work on, but every week is getting better, it's going easier.  If I had two healthy children, it would be super easy!  Unfortunately, I don't.  Like my hubby said the other night, "most people seem to have a rule book, but ours changes every day".  Yup, that's pretty true.  We seriously don't know what to expect from one day to the next.  It certainly makes things more interesting!  I will post again after our hospital appointment next week.    

Disease progression despite so many meds...

Back in April 2008, our old rheumatologist thought that perhaps Emily could have Scleroderma.  I didn't know what it was, but trying to be the informed parent, I promptly went home and looked it up.  Then I wished that I hadn't.  This was the first "too real" situation that we found ourselves in.  Trying to compare diseases with limited knowledge, I thought that she had something called CREST syndrome.  "CREST (calcinosis, Raynaud phenomenon, esophageal dysmotility, sclerodactyly, and telangiectasia) syndrome is a member of the heterogeneous group of sclerodermas, and its name is an acronym for the cardinal clinical features of the syndrome."  Bottom line?  It messes you up.

I learned that there are different types of Scleroderma.  There is one type that is called linear; it mainly affects the skin, causing the skin to darken and harden.  It can harden to the extent that it can restrict movement.  It can cause disfigurement.  Then there's Ssc, or Systemic Sclerosis.  This is what really scared me.  The literal translation for Scleroderma is "stone skin".  In Ssc, it can literally harden your internal organs.  Think about it- think of things like hardening of the arteries.  It can slowly harden your insides.  I spent a good two months absolutely sure that this was her problem.... and then we were told that it wasn't.  Phew!, right?  Ok, so another little gem that I have learned is, just because something is ruled out, doesn't mean it will stay out.  Since her old rheumy failed her so badly, we tried to just be more watchful, and of course I started to really research everything.  Lord knows, as my wonderful hubby said tonight, if we stayed in his practice she likely would have been dead last year.  So, it felt like, if I could just research enough, maybe I could find a clue that other couldn't.  Pretty farfetched, yes.  But, it helped me to at least feel like I had an active role and I was doing stuff, not to mention educating myself and anyone else that would listen.

We noticed that her wrists had linear scleroderma, and she had the sclerodactyl hands, which is basically when the hands look like swollen sausages, and of course the Raynaud's was severe.  When we learned for sure that she tested positively for Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, I learned that MCTD can stay the same, go into remission, or it could morph into either Lupus or Scleroderma.  I think I have always seen more Scleroderma features with her than anything.  I decided that I wasn't going to worry about it until we had to, which we hadn't had to do.

That said, Monday we discussed her test results from the chest CT, Echo, swallow study, and whatever the heck else we did.  If you read my post after we did the swallow study, you may remember that I was able to watch the test being done myself, and I saw problems.  The doctor that ran the testing and the 3 techs that were present didn't know what to do.  They called in another doctor for guidance.  The problem was that the barium dye wasn't going away.  They sat her up, laid her down, turned her side to side, but it wouldn't fully leave her esophagus.  Well, apparently her esophagus has narrowed down near her stomach.  Not much is able to get through, leaving her feeling nauseous and refluxing.  She is barely able to eat.  While I knew that there were problems here, I really thought that it would be the muscles from a Dermatomyositis flare, which attacks the muscles of the throat so they are too weak to work properly.  This is more of a Scleroderma feature.  That threw me for a loop.

While I was still reeling from that, he pulls up pictures of her lungs.  He shows me that they can see changes around the base of the lungs.  They look different from her last few tests.  While it doesn't show that she has Interstitial Lung Disease, her lungs are likely trending that way.  Pulminary Fibrosis is one of the hallmarks of MCTD and Scleroderma.  I don't remember a whole lot of the rest of the day.  I focused a lot on trying not to cry.

So, the new plan is to stop her Methotrexate.  She has not been a fan of that one lately, anyway.  In place of MTX, we are switching her to a stronger medicine called CellCept.  The hope is that, if we hit it hard enough, it will bounce back down.  Like, if you start to treat a flare at the beginning, it will usually respond much more quickly than if you let it go.  This is similar in theory.  I can't even find any info on this one that doesn't pertain to transplant patients.  It has a ton of warnings.  It does not look like a fun med.  Yeah, and because it causes such a high risk of infections, she may have to start a sulfa antibiotic daily with it.  It sounds terrifying.  And yet, what choice do we have?

We have a dear friend who is very similar to Emily.  We heard tonight from another dear friend that friend #1 has ditched most of her meds and is working on a holistic approach.  I have heard that she is doing very well this way.  I don't even know where to start, but I will ask them about it a bit.  It may be a while before we can afford something like that, but I will look into it.

The funny thing is that Emily didn't even have an appointment this time.  We discussed all of this in Zachary's appointment.  The bad side of that is I don't think we really talked much about Zachary.  Maybe we did and I missed it... I don't know.  The only thing that I clearly remember is that I asked if his white patches will go away from where his old psoriasis lesions were.  I had hoped they weren't Vitiligo.  I was assured that they are not; it simply takes a while for the skin to go back to normal since he had so many lesions and for such a long period of time.  And I got a new MTX prescription for him. That's all I remember there.  

 So, here we are again in territory that none of us is comfortable with, that makes it all too real.  I try so hard to be positive, but I have to be real, too.  People need to know that these diseases are out there, and they are scary and life-threatening.  I am thankful that we are homeschooling this year.  At least she won't pick up any nasty bugs at school.  School stuff will be on the Homeschooling blog.  A new post should be up this week!






          

Tough day

While most days I can manage to get through without seriously contemplating the kids' medical issues, for whatever reason, the drive to and from the hospital is where I really feel the stress of the situation. Even now with Em having a port, it is easier but once we're there and ready for them to access she really panics. Just thinking about the fact that they need to access my child is freaky, isn't it? I guess it's because going makes it all more real. Funny, really, since I'm with her when she's miserable or can't walk too, but that isn't as real as hanging at the hospital. Even now I have days where I mourn for my sweet tiny little bean pole that isn't anymore, thanks to steroids.  It seems awfully unfair sometimes, but we move on.

This trip started with the Pulminary Function Test. Now that it doesn't scare her, she actually enjoys it. I thinks she's a little crazy but hey, at least she does it without trauma. She did very well doing the test, & while the doctor hadn't seen the final report, he said the preliminary report looked great. The tech scared me a bit; he asked me with a concerned tone in his voice if we were seeing her doctor that day.  It was the way he said it that made me think, "uh-oh", but it really does seem to be ok.

Later, things were okay in the infusion room after she was hooked up. She screamed bloody murder first, but she calmed down soon after the needle went in. I guess she will always have major anxiety. I really had hoped that it would get better, but it just doesn't.  She screams like they're trying to kill her- flailing her arms and all- until the needle is in; then she relaxes.  She got her Orencia first, soon followed by her Rituxan. That is a huge relief since Rituxan is what helps her the most. I finally got to speak with someone about scheduling the swallow study. Naturally when they called me back, Em was screaming and I missed the call, but I managed to get them while still in the infusion room. They wanted to schedule the study for the 17th, when we already have appointments up that way on the 21st & the 27th.  If they weren't 2.5 hours away that would be fine. She hung up & called me back to tell me that they could do the swallow study while she is inpatient, but it needed a different referral than the outpatient one. That led to another round of calls because the check-in desk at the hospital doesn't document the way that the other staff does, so I actually had to call the doctor's office even though she sees them there. The funny thing is that not long after the person I left a message for found us in the infusion room. She said she'd find out & let me know what was up. That's the last time I spoke with her. That's cool- as long as it gets to the doctors I don't care. Long story short, they scheduled it for Thursday. That would have worked much better if pharmacy had sent her pre-meds up a few hours earlier. Instead of starting her IViG around 6, it was started at ten.

The plan was to finish the IViG as inpatient, then move to the infusion room for Remicade, while hopefully squeezing in the upper GI somewhere. Eventually they got her scheduled for her testing at two. They also ordered an x-ray for her arm because for once, Ms. Careful fell out of bed onto her arm! I really thought that she broke it. She never gets this upset!  And yes, I was pretty ticked off about that.  She fell while leaning out of her bed to pick something up off of the floor.  I had just told her that if she needed anything to let me know, and the nurse had just walked out of the room.  She'll make sure to ask next time, I'm sure. 

So they tell me that the plan was upper GI & x-rays at two, then Remicade. I pointed out that this would allow her 2 hours for a five hour infusion. (4 for Remicade, one for Solumedrol.). That is how we dropped Remicade & decided to go back to Enbrel. Yeah. Personally, I think it's a better move. I don't think Remicade has been as good for her as Enbrel was so I'm good with that. And we had talked about dropping it after if the Orencia worked for her, but we still have another month or two before it would be considered fully in effect.  That's why the Enbrel is back- probably.  He wants us to wait to see if she will really need it.  Again, I'm good with that.  Enbrel seemed to do more for her before anyway, but also this will allow us to go back to simple 5 hour infusions on the months that she doesn't need Rituxan.  That is awesome because staying overnight isn't really too much fun for anyone.  Benlysta was also thrown at me as a replacement for Rituxan.  I have read up quite a bit, and while I still have a lot more research to do, I think that we will stay with Rituxan.  Rituxan is an awesome medicine for her.  She feels it wearing off about a week before it is due, which is why they discussed switching.  From what I've read, people that do extremely well on Rituxan don't seem to do nearly as well on Benlysta.  It's like a downgrade.  Why go backwards? 

And then there was the upper GI.  She totally freaked out for it. She wanted x-rays of the arm so she was perfect for that but she was scared to death for the rest. The doctor wanted to reschedule but I begged them to do the test.  She just got herself so wound up.  I knew that if we put it off this would only happen again, but probably worse.  I know how she is, and she would be thinking about it every day for the next month until it happened, and then she would have had more time to make it worse in her head.  It needed to happen today for that, because she's been having a hard time eating lately, and because I feel that she's starting a Dermatomyositis flare.  I've seen the red dots reappear, I know she's had some muscle aches lately.  Knowing that she had the "air-filled esophagus" on the chest CT at least helped me to prepare for this.

So, I don't have any official results yet, but what I can tell you is that there is something going on. For those that haven't done this before, all that she had to do is swallow strawberry flavored barium while under a big camera.  The camera is like a video camera; they can watch the barium flow through her esophagus and into her stomach.  The problem is that it really didn't.  Yes, some flowed down, but quite a bit didn't.  And some of what did go down passed out of her stomach, but much of that stayed, too.  They called in an additional doctor to ask what to do.  In the end, we waited about ten minutes and they took one last picture of the barium that was still in her esophagus and stomach.  Is it from JDM, MCTD, possibly Scleroderma or from something different?  Not a clue.  I hope to find that out soon, along with what to do about it.  I'm just so glad that we did the test today.  I just knew that something was wrong.  I really hope that we don't have to go back up on her steroids.  That would really kill us.

We were told that we could go home right after, but we waited around to make sure that the x-rays didn't show a break.  I asked them to give her some pain meds, so they gave me a prescription.  Since they wrote for something that my CVS doesn't usually have, I filled it there.  They told me 30 minutes.  No worries.  After 45 minutes of waiting, I asked them if there was a problem.  They didn't have the correct insurance info right there.  So, instead of calling the cell phone number that I wrote on the scrip, they figured they would just wait until I wandered over there, then they told me it would be another ten minutes.  I was so mad!  I didn't say anything but I was fuming.  We ended up getting our meds as we were leaving, with me pushing her chair and carrying a suitcase, with 2 pillows and a bunch of our bags hanging from the chair.  (Laptop, sleeping bag, blankets, etc...)  I was not happy.  But we're home.  I am so glad that we're home.  Hopefully we will find out more soon.  I will keep everyone posted.  Prayers would be wonderful, please.  Especially for her throat issues and for no flare to hit.  Thank you to anyone that prays for us.  I am off to dreamland now.  I will leave you with the words to a Natalie Grant song that Emily loves off of Natalie's "Relentless" album.  The part that I have in bold I just can't even sing.  It tears me up every time.

"Our Hope Endures"

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is torn
With illness but she marches on
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Quiet time

It's been a good week for me and Zach, but a rough one for Emily. Monday her shoulder and ankle hurt. By Tuesday, despite several rub downs, BioFreeze and a hot bath, the shoulder was really bad. Her occupational therapist rubbed it out. Em cried, she begged her to stop. We all knew that the benefit would outweigh the pain. Sure enough, she woke Wednesday able to move it with little pain. Her knees have been "tired" and her thighs have hurt. The thighs worry me the most. The thought of her JM coming back sends fear ripping through us all. Not as badly this time. The storms that we had in June threw our monthly med schedule off. While 2 of her meds are monthly, Rituxan is every 3 months. So far, it has been the drug that helps her the most. We would normally have gone for meds this week, so I'm sure that is why she is hurting.

We had placement testing yesterday for school. She got lucky; she wasn't entered into the computer yet, & the person that normally does it was in a meeting 2 hours away. She will be able to take it at home soon. We need to set up an IEP meeting for her before she's 100% clear. Zach is all set, complete with passwords for the online part.

Em has been determined to go to the beach for a while. Where our summers usually have a brief daily storm & usually drought levels, this year we have had more rain than we can believe. We finally got to the beach this evening. With her JM, a sunburn can cause her disease to flare, so we go when the threat is less. I'm sitting here at the beach now, watching them play, watching the sun go down. There is a constant breeze as I listen to the crash of the waves and the kids playing. It is a perfect end to my week. She's feeling good today, and the kids are so happy here.

Emily & Zach have such a special relationship. I love sharing their lives with them. I am in awe of them. I kept catching them hugging each other. So much love!

Oh, & on a last, different note, I am so proud of them. They have been sitting in my church services with me. While some adults may talk all through the service, my kids are clasping their hands & bowing their heads in prayer. I am just so proud of the people they are becoming. I am so ready to start homeschooling! I am so blessed to have this opportunity to be with them more. <3